A divorce is a major event for parents, and often even more so for children. They do not choose it, yet they live for years with the arrangements their parents make. Since 2024, Aruban law requires parents to set out those arrangements together in a parenting plan. What that means, why care pays off, and how a mediator or applied psychologist can help you.
Young children often do not fully understand what is happening, but they sense tension unerringly. What affects them most is usually not the divorce itself but the conflict around it: arguments they witness, the feeling that they must choose between father and mother, and uncertainty about where they will live and when they will see the other parent. Children also quickly feel loyal to both parents. Asking a child to pass on a message or take sides places a burden on shoulders that are not built for it.
Clear and workable arrangements give children calm and predictability. They know where they stand, and their parents do not have to fight every issue all over again, with all the cost and emotion that entails. A careful divorce is therefore good not only for the children but also for the parents themselves. That is also the idea behind the legislative change Aruba introduced in 2024.
Aruba follows the Netherlands in family law, although often with some delay. The parenting plan, mandatory in the Netherlands since 2009, was introduced in Aruba by the National Ordinance of 28 November 2023 (AB 2023 no. 56). The rules have applied since 1 March 2024 (National Decree of 20 February 2024, AB 2024 no. 6) and are built on the principle of "continued parenthood after divorce". The key points:
In short: the court expects parents first to reach agreements themselves, and together. Skipping that step leads to delay and ultimately leaves the decision about the children to someone else.
The law lists a number of subjects that must at least be covered: the division of care and upbringing or contact, how parents inform and consult each other, and the costs of care and upbringing. In practice it is wise to go further:
A parenting plan is not a one-off form. Children grow, and what suits a toddler no longer works for a teenager. Good arrangements therefore leave room to adjust the plan later by mutual agreement.
Precisely when emotions run high, it is hard to talk to each other in a businesslike way and in the interests of the children. A professional standing alongside the parents can make the difference.
A mediator guides both parents together towards arrangements they can both support. The mediator does not take sides, keeps the conversation on track and makes sure the children's interests remain central. In practice, arrangements that parents make themselves last longer than a decision imposed by the court. Mediation is also usually faster and cheaper than litigation.
An applied psychologist focuses on what is going on beneath the surface: communication between the parents, coming to terms with the end of the relationship, and what the child needs at this stage of development. That helps ex-partners become cooperating parents again. Children themselves also benefit from someone who takes them seriously and gives their voice a place.
Applied psychologist (BSc) · joining Glas & Glas soon
"I don't talk about you, I talk with you."
At Glas & Glas we do not want to handle family matters with lawyers alone. That is why applied psychologist Allya Al-Odaymi will soon be joining our team. She will support parents and children alongside the legal proceedings, so that the people behind the file never drop out of sight.
Allya studied Applied Psychology at Hanze University of Applied Sciences in Groningen, with a minor in Clinical Psychology. At a therapeutic centre for parent and child she supported and coached parents during parenting assessments, delivered parenting training and observed the interaction between parents and children. She then worked in youth mental health care, in a team of psychologists, educational psychologists and psychiatrists, with children and young people aged 5 to 20 and their parents. Her thesis focused on culturally sensitive assessment of behaviour: how culture shapes the way we look at parenting. In a society with as many cultures as Aruba, that is no luxury.
Allya's methods include motivational interviewing, progress-focused coaching, ACT and REBT. She speaks Dutch, English and Polish, and is learning Papiamento.
Alongside the new law, Aruba has built a support structure called Plan di Mayor. It uses the KIES method developed in the Netherlands (Children in Divorce Situations): KIES Mediation, the KIES Child Plan in which the child's wishes are given a place, and group support for children aged 7 to 17. Since 2023, dozens of professionals in Aruba have been trained in this method, and the University of Aruba is studying its effects together with Utrecht University. Parents who get stuck drawing up a parenting plan can turn to the Loket Plan di Mayor, a help desk maintained by the Guardianship Council (art. 1:242a Aruban Civil Code).
The court can also refer parents to a mediator or conflict mediator, and in Aruba even to a family member or another person both spouses trust (art. 818(2) Aruban Code of Civil Procedure). The Netherlands does not have that last option. It fits Aruban society well, where grandparents, uncles and aunts often play an important role in children's lives.
Mediation and a lawyer are not mutually exclusive. The lawyer makes sure you know where you stand legally, checks whether the arrangements are reasonable and workable, and records them properly. The mediator or psychologist helps you reach those arrangements. At Glas & Glas you will soon find the lawyer and the psychologist under one roof.
For child support, the Aruban court looks at the child's needs and the financial capacity of both parents (art. 1:406 Aruban Civil Code). It applies its own practical calculation based on net income and reasonable fixed costs, rather than copying the Dutch standards one-to-one. Spousal maintenance in Aruba is still limited to a maximum of twelve years (art. 1:157 Aruban Civil Code), whereas in the Netherlands the term has in principle been five years since 2020.
Financial arrangements and arrangements about the children are closely linked. A co-parenting arrangement in which the children live half the time with each parent, for example, affects the amount of child support. It is therefore wise to discuss both subjects at the same time. Read more in our article on child support and spousal maintenance in Aruba.
We expect the court to steer increasingly towards mediation, especially in disputes about care arrangements. There is no formal legal obligation to mediate, in Aruba any more than in the Netherlands, but in practice it is becoming the norm. A parenting plan without an explanation of the attempts to reach agreement together, or without attention to the involvement of the children, will be examined more critically.
The voice of the child is also becoming more important. In the Netherlands, since 1 July 2025, children from the age of 8 are invited by the court for a conversation in divorce cases. It is likely that this practice will eventually be followed in Aruba as well. In addition, the minister must report to Parliament within three years of the introduction, so around early 2027, on how the new rules work in practice. That may lead to further changes.
Glas & Glas Attorneys and Legal Consultancy assists parents in Aruba with divorce and the end of a cohabitation, with an eye for both the legal and the human side. We help draw up and review the parenting plan, calculate child support and spousal maintenance, and conduct the proceedings. Soon with applied psychologist Allya Al-Odaymi on our team, and where needed in cooperation with mediators and the Loket Plan di Mayor, we make sure the arrangements are not only legally sound but also work in your children's daily lives.
This article contains general information and is not advice on a specific situation. It is based on the Aruban Civil Code and the Aruban Code of Civil Procedure as amended by AB 2023 no. 56, and on information up to and including September 2026. No rights can be derived from this article.
Yes. Since 2024, a petition for divorce involving minor children must include a parenting plan signed by both parents. Unmarried parents with joint custody must also draw up a parenting plan when their relationship ends.
No, not formally. The court can, however, refer parents to a mediator, a conflict mediator, or a family member or other trusted person, and in practice mediation is increasingly expected.
To the Loket Plan di Mayor, to a mediator or applied psychologist, and to a lawyer for legal advice. Without a plan, the proceedings are quickly delayed, prolonging uncertainty for the children.
Soon, yes. Applied psychologist Allya Al-Odaymi will be joining our team. She will support parents and children in family matters alongside the legal proceedings, including in drawing up the parenting plan and preparing for a conversation with the judge, the Guardianship Council or a mediator.
We help you, soon together with our applied psychologist, with a careful parenting plan, maintenance and the proceedings, in English, Dutch, Spanish and Papiamento.
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